I feel like I know what she is feeling, I had many of the same thoughts years ago when we had our miscarriage. Why me? Why our baby? Why give us a baby, only to take it away before we even got to meet it, or hold it in our hands? Why would God do something like that to us? People told us it was a baby that was never meant to be--how can God make "mistakes" like that?
In the end, I just had to rely on faith. I had to rest in the fact that I did not know the reasoning, and I probably never will. But I do know that a year later, a close friend suffered the exact same loss and she had no one to support her--she had no family members who had experienced this loss, and was the first among her circle of friends to try for a baby...but I was able to be there and be a comfort to her. I spent hours on the phone with her, just listening. And being mad with her. Crying with her. Telling her it was OK to be mad, and confused, and to want to punch a wall. Meanwhile, she was getting the standard "It's God's Plan," "It was never meant to be," "you'll try again," answers from everyone else.
A year later it happened again to another friend, and I could be there for her too. She is miles away from me, but email allowed me to "listen" to her sadness, and validate her feelings and answer the awful questions that people who go through this have that others simply can't answer: "when will the physical symptoms go away?" "When does my heart stop feeling like it is breaking inside of me?" "Why do people say such stupid things?"
So maybe we lost our baby because God knew that I could get through it and be a support to other people who have no one else. I am not about to say that I was the best source of strength for these two friends, but my experience allowed me to at least be there for them.
